So we wished for snow… especially for Christmas. I prayed for it. There was plenty. Did I touch it ? No… I just liked the color of everything in a tone of heavy white. And? That was it… [I like to dialogue with myself]

So we wished to have another December… especially Christmas. New Year’s too, but more Christmas. Empty… I know what the meaning of it should have been but I got carried away by my thoughts and things “to do” or “to buy”. And? That was it…

So we wished to dream bigger… especially in the December for the new year to come. I know what I should change and I have an idea for new dreams that should help me aim really high… But I got shut down, by myself mostly… I’m tired of blaming others even when they’re at fault. And? That was it…

So we wished to be happy… especially this season… just so we can get by another year, or half of it, or maybe 5, 4, 3, 2 or 1 month of it…. so it would be easier. And I thought that feeding some hungry homeless people would do that (make me happy). And I’ve stopped myself. I realized that I would be a hypocrite to do it now when the whole year I’ve ignored them;  just so I can feel better this Christmas? Let it burn in my conscience, let it rise a fire in me for those who need the little help I can offer. And? That was it…

Maybe the whiteness of snow reminded me of purity; maybe Christmas reminded me about Salvation; maybe my dreams reminded me of my potential; maybe my desire for happiness reminded me of God. But I am still Robert… still trying to change…

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year… to YOU and ME!

Robert Voica

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It’s about 2 AM and I just finished studying for today. If you’re wondering what do I fill my brain with, today it was Business Statistics.

Well, it is against the rule to write at this hour; no matter what you write, from what I’ve been told so far, you’re supposed to write in the morning when your brain is rested and you’ve pondered your thoughts, somehow over the night; like the cells are happy and popping in the morning…

And why do I try to articulate something in writing (if that’s possible) this late with such a tired brain? It is because I want to share with you my simple idea:

//I don’t have it all figured out//

In the most precious book to my soul, my spring of life and wisdom, the Bible, in the book of James, chapter 5 talks about the importance of confession:

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16).

I am at a point in my life when I seem to not understand a lot of things that are going on and I feel it’s all slipping through my fingers, like sand does when you reach a wonderful place called “beach”. But I have faith that it will catch a shape as the journey advances and… I seem to have the guts to even enjoy it, starting right now. Again.

After all, it’s life. It’s about people. It’s about the imperfect and I’m part of it. I’m amazed by what it means and takes to be human!

Robert Voica

To you…

Posted: October 15, 2010 in One Day at a Time
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I kept thinking about you. Why are you the way you are? Who defined your atmosphere or existence? It’s impossible for me to understand because… I keep thinking about you and … you’re so beautiful! I see a mirror that reflects my image of what I should be and that’s just… something that nobody has ever done for me. Why would you? Why do you love me? I’m so imperfect and so ugly and it seems like I wear a mask every day and you still don’t care. I can be myself with you and it doesn’t make a difference to you even when I’m crazy. Why did you have to show me that I always have to pursue progress and the out-of-the-boat approach? It’s very uncomfortable. It creates tension in me and when I reach the peak I tend to explode… but every single time you take the pieces and put them back together.

Today something reminded me of you. And I was just amazed. I forgot we’re neighbors. And best friends. And you are the one that always invested in me. I tried to do that to others just so I can honor you but it didn’t work, not even close. And yet, you’re there. Whenever I turn. Whenever I stop. Whenever I realize. Don’t you ever get tired? It’s Fall and leaves are coloring my street and it’s just great. Sometimes I want to feel lonely but I can’t because you are my fuzzy warm flicker of fire that keeps me going. I can’t get rid of you and I don’t want to. But I still don’t understand you. Neither your unconditional friendship. Neither your love. I know about you but not enough of you. And I’m so imperfect. And you don’t even mind when I share my heart with someone else than you. On the contrary, you smile! Thank you! I’m lucky…

Why? Why are you here even as I’m writing this? I am so selfish that I even forgot your name, and I adressed you… but all the way it was… You!

Robert Voica

Dedicated to The Author… God of Israel

Evening thought

Posted: September 15, 2010 in //fewer words//
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I just love my life. It’s one of those days where there is no reason to love it, but I just do. Dry and crazy, humid and cold, waiting and thinking… stressing and not breathing… I still love it. I encourage everybody to do it! It’s just amazing… Find a perfect spot (coffeshops for me), listen to your favorite music and let it flow… relax and enjoy. Afterall, can’t do anything about it.

Robert Voica

Back!

Posted: September 7, 2010 in One Day at a Time
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I’m back. Back on. Back in the City. I’m staring at an old building and the cars…keep going. They carry people. Just like me…and you. It’s late and it’s night. Who cares? I’m back. I really missed writing and I feel my blog is excited to see me back. The ones that read are people and they’re subjective, you are too. So am I! …and it’s a great feeling ’cause being perfect is boring.

Looking across the street at the same old building, I just realized I was here most of this summer, and yet I was off from my routine of just…thinking, feeling, breathing, living and…writing. But now, right before fall hits my city… I’m glad to be back.

Getting back at observing people. I’m gonna start with the ones right next to me. Good night! …or good time.

The same,

Robert Voica

I haven’t written a post in a while now… it’s not because I’m lazy or because I don’t care anymore, but it’s because I need to recharge my batteries a little bit. I noticed that my blog keeps getting a few hits here and there and this post is for you, all those that still check it out, even when there isn’t something new. I just want to say a sincere THANK YOU!

In September I will come back with a new format, new ideas, new insights and more… Until then, have a great rest of the Summer!

And don’t forget… IT’S ABOUT PEOPLE!

Robert Voica

Beyond self

Posted: May 11, 2010 in One Day at a Time
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There was always something in me that people might call ‘passion’ for stories; not fairytales, not MTV news or political, but people stories. I just walk, through the city and through life and as I go I encounter…people and their stories. And I tell them…

A few days ago there was this celebration that most of the people enjoy: Mother’s day. I said most because there is always someone left out. I was just taking a walk and my eyes stumbled upon something. I’d rather say somebody. His name is B.J. There was a show put together and he was running the lights show. I’ve known him for a while. He’s always there doing the same thing. But today… He was projecting for the Mother’s day show. He never knew his mom. She never cared and he never knew he was supposed to feel hurt. But I could see it today; his eyes… I saw pain!

Last night I’ve watched for the 3rd time ‘Hotel Rwanda’. More than 1 million corpses left behind. And it wasn’t just a movie, it really happened in 1994. People decided to kill people. It’s still around. There is murder at all levels, from the smallest decision that you and I make all the way to genocides. There is something that we can do: stop making wrong and selfish decisions. I’ll be honest… It’s hard. Not impossible.

B.J. and people that died in the genocide. Totally different and still so hurt. How do you deal with that?

// I think if people see this footage, they’ll say Oh, my God, that’s horrible. And then they’ll go on eating their dinners. //

Hotel Rwanda, Jack, the Journalist: [after Paul
thanks him for shooting footage of the genocide]

And I wonder… Letting people die is way different than killing them?

Robert Voica